


Scared to be loved

by AdelvinaGaarder



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Blow Jobs, Chapter 1 is the extent of non con, Character Study, Confessions, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Lovers, Feelings Realization, Hurt Hux, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo POV, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Post TLJ, Scheming and Catching feelings, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-05-18 03:56:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdelvinaGaarder/pseuds/AdelvinaGaarder
Summary: His former master always made sure the rabid cur is on a leash, but Ren realized there’s other way to tame the General. During his sexual onslaught inflicted on Hux, Ren accidentally exposed the General’s craving for companionship. Mixed with guilt, Ren decided to take another approach- to praise the general, give him trivial affection and manipulate him into loyally leading the Order.But given his history, Ren is never good at controlling his emotion, especially when he finds unexpected comfort in Hux. Ren would dispose the General when the time comes. And yet.





	1. Ill Intents

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since the release of TLJ, I've been sulking over Ren taking place as Hux's new abuser. Here comes the fix-it fic where Ren will treat Hux with respect and care, despite the ulterior motives. For those concerning over the non-con warning, I promise chapter 1 is the extent and there will be no further rape/non-con in this story. 
> 
> "Show me your broken parts and all your flaws,  
> Baby, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take you as you are."
> 
> The Weeknd - As You Are

Kylo could sense the General approaching. His mind always impossibly loud, but the thoughts muddled perhaps from being knocked out on the command shuttle. In his frustrated exhaustion, the last thing he wanted to deal with is another scolding from Hux. He didn’t need the General to remind him of his recklessness leading to the Resistance’s escape.

Rising from his crouching position, Kylo let go of the force-transmitted necklace. Another unnecessary reminder of his family. With the demise of Luke Skywalker, it would take him no time to finish off the dying Resistance. He had hesitated to fire on his mother. But he had killed his master. He was stronger now. He would not miss the shot next time.

“Supreme Leader.” Hux’s voice sounded rougher than usual, as if his throat was constricted. Kylo turned around to acknowledge the General, fully taking in the purple handprint of bruises around his neck. Right, he had force choked Hux into submission at Snoke’s throne room. Hux had remained silence under Kylo’s scrutiny, waiting for his next order. Kylo figured he would gladly choke Hux once more to wipe away his disdain and shut him up.

“How is the search?”

“The troopers did not find any trace of the Resistance. This is an abandoned base with little intelligence value. I afraid the Resistance’s ship is long gone. It would be of best if we retreat to the Finalizer and began accessing the damage on the Supremacy. This firefight had cost us greatly, our army needs to rest…”

Kylo didn’t pay attention as soon as Hux began to report automatically like a droid. He would agree to Hux anyways, given how obviously tired the officers had become. Instead, he focused on the deeper thoughts of the General. He could feel a constant dull pain that Hux showed no sign of being bothered by. The General was scheming on dealing with the aftermath of this battle on Crait, as well as the destruction of the Supremacy. There was no thoughts of betrayal and coup. Though Hux would hide those traitorous thoughts well, given how proficient he was at shielding his mind even as a force-null.

“Supreme Leader.” His name sounded distant. “Ren.”

Kylo returned a scowl at Hux for calling him by his name, though the General seemed unfazed and noticeably weary. “Burn this place down.” He ordered, “I want reports about the damage on the Supremacy. Meanwhile, the Finalizer will take its place as the flag ship. General, you will oversee the readjustment. I need our fleet to be in optimal condition as soon as possible, before the Resistance has time to thrive.” He would make sure Hux knows who is in charge.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” Hux replied smoothly. Kylo was taken aback how immediately Hux adjusted himself into carrying his orders with no sign of the previous hostility and despise. The man craved for power as much as being awe of it. But Kylo knew better to let his guard down. Snoke would never let his rabid cur bite him. Kylo would make sure of that.

He trailed down to the exit of the cave, briefly bumping into Hux’s shoulder.

He would not allow himself disrespected during his first day as the ruler of the Galaxy.

-

It took him less than few cycles to marvel over Hux’s ability and efficiency, though he would not admit it out loud. No doubt the petty man was scheming assassination against him right now. He often wondered why Snoke would keep such a cunning petty man obsessed with his toy weapon as his right-hand man. But now during desperate time, he witnessed Hux’s promptitude in readjusting the Supremacy and Finalizer. It was truly by Hux’s effort that Snoke could easily rule in the shadow. The budget and the backup plans, everything, the General ran through every one of them in a few cycles.

He found himself envying over Hux’s composure.

Kylo, on the other hand, was frustrated at meeting futile response on force-tracking the Resistance.

He had stay at his former quarter on the Finalizer. He would tolerate not having a proper crowning and throne due to low in resources. Now with full access to the Order’s system, he could easily monitor the process on recovering both ships at his room. But he wasn’t overly concerned with the Order’s matters, he was trying to pick up the location of the Millennium Falcon through the Force. His mother was experienced in hiding her thoughts, but he didn’t expect Rey to not show any signs of connection to their force bonds. The scavenger indeed progressed in force. He was outsmarted again by the scavenger girl’s ability with the Force.

So, he meditated after he unleashed his lightsaber and directed it to the wall. But meditation could barely keep his anger in.

Firm knockings came from his door. Pulling him out of the short-lived peace of mind.

Only the General would have the guts to disturb him.

He unlocked the door and slammed it harshly with the Force. Hux quivered momentarily at the crash, but quickly resumed his calm demeanor before stepping into the room. Kylo felt the anger in him began to boil at the sight of his intruder. He swallowed, not trusting himself to speak first.

“Supreme Leader. I’ve come here to report on our status.”

“There’s no need to speak face to face. I’ve been monitoring the process with my comm.”

 _Have you?_ The scorn projected from Hux. “There are things we must discuss. We cannot chase after the Resistance blindly now that we’ve lost their track. We must gather our troops. Summon the High Command for further plans-"

Kylo raised his palm, Hux flinched at the notion and stopped his elaboration.

“Nothing can’t wait. The Resistance are but outnumbered, they are as helpless as infants without the Master of Jedi.” Kylo slipped in his annoyance, hoping Hux would take the hint and leave him alone.

“It’s now or never, Supreme Leader. Snoke did not hesitate to order me chasing after the Resistance once I recovered you from Starkiller. Nor should you. You must show them your ruthlessness as the new Supreme Leader, not another compromise over the failure on Crait.”

Slamming his fist to the wall, Kylo growled, “Do not compare me to Snoke.”

Of course, Hux wouldn’t care about his display of violence. He had been through too many of them. Kylo could feel the peace he gained from meditation dissipated. His control slipping.

“Speaking of the former Supreme Leader, we need to make up a proper statement for the announcement of his death. You can’t tell the entire galaxy a scavenger girl managed to get through you and kill your master. Think about your own reputation! You are the face of the Order now!”

“Are you trying to say that I lied about Snoke?” Ren threatened.

“You know the truth better than anyone, Ren. Whoever killed Snoke is irrelevant now. What matters is the version we broadcast to the Galaxy. We must express our grieves and swear our vengeance upon Snoke. We must condemn the Resistance for assassinating our Supreme Leader. We need to persuade the Galaxy, we have allies to keep!”

“Isn’t that why you are given this position?”

“Are you even aware that you are the Supreme Leader right now? You have duty to keep, and I expect much more than elusion from my commanding officer.”

The atmosphere of the room tensed up as Kylo projected his anger through the Force.

Hux gulped, his pathetic fear was almost palpable. But the fear did not deter the damned man to repeat his words. “Please, Supreme Leader. The loss on Crait may be a disgrace, but it is not too late to make amendments.” Hux shouted.

Hux’s implication of his failure on Crait was enough to set Kylo off. With a swift motion of his hand, an invisible grip of the Force sent Hux face down to the floor, tightening on his airway. A muffled scream escaped the General’s throat, as pale hands attempted to desperately pull the Force grip free. Kylo could hear a distant crack when Hux hit the floor, but he dismissed it as unimportant amid his rage.

“Stop it…Kylo…” Hux muttered pitiful begs as soon as he realized the force choke would not relent.

The invisible grip disappeared, briefly, before replaced by Kylo’s bare hands.

Kylo hauled Hux from the floor, took a mental note that Hux was surprisingly light in weight. Hux’s face was contorted by pain and breathlessness. His nail prying at Kylo’s fist. His legs yanking helplessly midair. The calmness in the pair of pale green eyes had been replaced with bursting fear and desperation.

 _T_ _hat’s it_ , Kylo found himself amused by the General’s struggling. He could finally destroy the disgusting calm façade Hux had been wearing, he could pull emotions from the General and revealed all his cunning coup secrets. _How could the man be so composed when Kylo still suffered from the upset of Force?_

He wanted to unsettle Hux, badly. To see his secrets, because Hux must be as dirty as him. Kylo flung Hux onto the bed, climbing on top of him to straddle and press Hux’s wrists to the bedsheet. Being released from the choke, Hux grasped for air and took a few breathes eagerly. However, the air was quickly pushed out of his lungs when Ren fisted him in the guts. Hux bite his lips to stop the indignant cries slipping out.

“Kriff…Are you-argh-out of your mind?”

“You will not speak to me in disdain. A pathetic force null such as you have no idea how the force works, nor my decisions.” He backhanded Hux in the face, blood began to pool and spill over his chin.

“Do you think I am not aware of your blatant hatred? I know you pulled that kriffing blaster at me in Snoke’s throne room. You always wanted my position. I should kill you now for your insubordination!”

“Get off!” Hux shouted, trying to twist away.

Kylo roughly shoved Hux’s injured shoulder to mattress, making sure he heard the agonizing cries from Hux. Irritated from Hux’s words, he resumed his force choke on Hux, though looser to keep the General from passing out. It would be a shame if Hux passes out before he could prick the pain into him.

Terror flashed in Hux’s eyes, his eyes red rimmed as tears began to gather. The sight of the messy General made Kylo smirk, a twisted satisfaction running in his veins.

He added another punch, then another.

He missed this satisfaction. He had long lost it after suffering from humiliated defeat and outsmart by Rey and Luke. It was a rush of satisfaction when he sliced waves of enemies with his lightsaber. The pleasure from killing and slaughtering.

The thrill. He wanted more.

If punching Hux bloody already reduce him into a mess, how about forcing himself on him?

Kylo began to fumble at Hux’s clothes. The General was not wearing his Great Coat. Clearly Hux had not attend himself after retreating from Crait. He was still covered in the red salt from planet. As Kylo ripped off Hux’s undershirt, the bruised pale expanse of skin was exposed. Hux began to shiver as immense fear flowed through him. Kylo tucked the ginger’s trousers down easily, before moving to unbuckle his own.

“No. You can’t do this!” Hux managed to utter the words.

“Shut up! I can do anything I want. You will not stop me!”

He was the Supreme Leader. The Galaxy was his, as well as Hux. He could defile Hux, break that smug arrogance of his. Then, upon revealing his coup, he would have him executed. No one could despise him now. Not his father, or his uncle, or the damned Resistance and Hux.

“Please Supreme Leader! Please stop!” Hux cried out.

Misery made Hux beg in humiliation. How wonderful it is to see the arrogant General break down into a sobbing mess. He never thought he would hear Hux begging him, because the General would simply choose death with dignity. But Kylo would make sure Hux could not escape this punishment.

Suddenly, Kylo could feel the struggle beneath him creases.

A memory Hux projecting loudly played in front of his eyes. R _ain. Endless rain. His hand wipe away the strand of wet red hair blocking his vision. Hux is standing in the rain. Everything is silent. The only distinguished sound is the soft rain. Hux is drowned in the rain. He feels peaceful. He lets go of the pain from the beating by his father…_

No. Hux couldn’t do that.

He reached into the General’s mind. His mental fingers pulling violently at Hux’s consciousness. He pulled Hux from his hiding place in the back of his mind, pulling a sting of agonizing screams in the process.

“I need your full attention. General.” Kylo whispered to Hux’s ear sadistically.

“Fuck you!”

Kylo did not bother with insult. He turned and shoved Hux face down to the mattress. Without any lubrication, he shoved two fingers into Hux’s opening. He roughly twisted his fingers and nudged his thumb to open up the General. Hux let out a strangled wail of pain, unable to speak as the pain seized his throat. Kylo squeezed Hux’s ass and spreaded his ass cheeks for a better access. Removing his fingers, he could already see them bloody for scratching Hux. He nudged his length against Hux’s opening, seeing his hole clenching and bleeding from the abuse.

“No. No.” Hux’s fear overrided his pride. Kylo took his time to appreciate Hux’s terror. He had always find the General rather attractive. But Hux would never let him fuck him when they were co-commanders. Now, he could do whatever he wants. _D_

 _o you know you look beautiful when terror takes you?_ Kylo projected his thought to Hux accidentally in his excitement.

"You are... sick…”

“Careful, General.” Kylo grunted as he thrusted forward into Hux. He could feel Hux tearing open and clenching at him. He could feel pain shot through the General’s body, as Hux screamed and his tears flowed free down his face. He could sense Hux passing out, until the pain immediately sent him back to the brutal reality. Kylo carelessly grabbed at Hux’s already injured side, easily wrapping his hands around Hux’s thin waist, and began a punishing pounding into the ginger. As he thrusted deep into the General in a surprisingly smooth pace, he tried to force more whimpers and groans from Hux. It was the blood that smoothed the thrusting. The thrill encouraged Kylo’s savagery and he continued to thrust relentlessly into the General.

Blood pooled on the bedsheet. Crimson stains from previous assualt overlapping themselves.

Hux could no longer form words, as he was reeling on the edge of pain. His mind overtaken by the torture and unable to fight anymore, as it took its final instinct to surrender to its abuser.

Sensing Hux giving up on twisting away, Kylo forced his presence into Hux’s mind. It ignited an unexpected fight in the General. Even though Kylo sensed Hux weakly trying to build his mind fortress, Hux’s psyche was too messed up from the pain radiating at his lower body. It took Kylo less than half of the usual effort to break into Hux’s mind completely.

Hux thrown back his head and screamed.

Kylo expected to see Hux’s secrets. Unbidden, he was overwhelmed with Hux’s disordered memories and emotions. It wasn’t the first time Kylo had to pull information from a distraught mind anyways. Kylo tried to concentrate on certain memories related to scheming, but he was dragged into a memory with screaming color instead.

_Hux, standing on the bridge, Kylo besides him. Stars, they are talking about constellations. It is deep in the night during Delta shift. They didn’t talk afterward. But Hux felt calm, he hardly ever had a company. He likes the feeling being accompanied._

The memory caught Kylo off guard. He never thought Hux would crave for a friend, given how he always consider himself destined to rule and above everything else. Was Hux truly aloof, or simply hiding his thoughts very well? Before Kylo could figure out further, another memory shifted in.

_Hux, rushing in the snow, toward Kylo who was bloodied on the ground. Starkiller. Anger. Hux was angry Kylo let the Resistance in, angry that he was defeated. But the anger was quickly covered by concern, Hux was afraid for him. Snoke’s punishment. Hux didn’t want to face it alone._

Kylo could feel Hux’s mind starting to stutter, clearly burdened to a shut down by the torture inflicted on it. He tried to chase over thoughts of betrayal, only to be given by Hux’s scheming on fixing the Supremacy and rebuilding the Order. No sign of coup.

The last memory Kylo reached was a recent one. _Hux, standing in the ablaze throne room, mounting over Kylo’s unconscious body. Hux was relieved, that he was finally free of Snoke’s command. He was one step closer to the throne. He reached for his blaster. His hold faltered. Kylo. Kylo was trouble, Kylo was…_

Kylo was forcefully pushed out of Hux’s mind. The General’s mind had shut down to protect itself from further damage. Stunned, Kylo pulled away from Hux. His cock bloody and more blood spilled from Hux’s abused hole. Hux’s limp body landed onto the mattress when Kylo hastily released his Force grip on Hux’s throat. The dreadful silence only filled with Kylo’s panting.

As the anger dissipated, Kylo took in the full picture of the torture he had put Hux in. Ugly handprint bruises darkened along Hux’s sides and on his ass. The bruise on his throat became alarmingly red. Scraps and blood covered the General’s pale frame. Had Hux always been this thin and pasty? Did something happen during his training with Snoke?

 _Now boy, you need to control your temper! His father always scolded at him._ Ben was a child of destruction. Sometimes, he crushed his toy with the Force in his fit of anger. Only to surprise himself when witnessing the terrible damage, he had inflicted afterward. The contorted toys, the piling mountains of corpses, the burning consoles, Hux…

**Hux.**

Maneuvering Hux onto his back, Kylo took Hux’s wrist desperately. There was a steady pulse. Hux was not dead, he had not destroyed his best General during one of his fit. _I shouldn’t have done this._ Kylo thought guiltily. He was so angry and the General was teasing at his failure. But ruining Hux to this state didn’t prove a thing. It satisficed the twisted thrill in him, by destroying his best General, his ally…

_What have he done?_


	2. Lonely together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to unite against the once-again expanding rebellion, Kylo must re-evaluate his relationship with the recovering General.

It had been years since Kylo Ren, the embodiment of destruction, had to repair.

He was always terrible at putting things back together.

But Hux made him do things he _shouldn’t_ , and those he thought he _wouldn’t_.

The medical driod confirmed Hux’s wounds are tended of, signaling a list of injuries and symptoms Hux had. There were terrible cuts Kylo knew he was responsible of, and symptoms that spiked an immediately extinguished flame of anger in him- Chronic fatigue, extended insomnia, overdose of stims… The General was doing a terrible job at holding up together.

Kylo was often at struggle, but it was not often for him to hesitate in making decision. Kill or spare, love or hate, the Light and the Dark, they had been contrast ideas like black juxtaposed with white on a panel. He chose the Dark side of the Force, followed its path and never regretted it. It was hardly the first time he found himself in the wake of an aftermath of destruction, but the sight of Hux bloodied had him at loss.

Hux, on his bed, unconscious and covered in wounds.

A savage part of him rejoiced. Kylo found himself admiring the crimson colors on Hux. Red always suited the General very well. Red hair, red liquid, red stains, so sharp in the darkness Kylo surrounded himself with. It fed the thirst for carnage in Kylo, the constantly throbbing darkness threatening to take control. And normally, he would savor the afterglow, devouring those feasts for the eyes.

But his conscience, obviously hanging on its last breath like the Light in him, stung his heart. It was that last bit in him that knocked him out of his trance, as he began to formulate how to fix Hux. Bring the General to med bay was impossible. He couldn’t swipe out every medics’ memory, nor did he think Hux would want anyone to find him in this state. Hux’s pulse was steady, albeit weak. Bruises varied in colors and degrees. Given the coma state due to Kylo’s rough mind-reading, it would be necessary for Hux to be supervised by a medical droid. Reluctantly, Kylo requested for a med droid. No one would dare to suspect the Supreme Leader’s order, but Kylo still found himself thinking irrationally from the guilt. He was relieved when the med droid arrived, as he was worried the medical service was at shortage from taking care of the wounded after Crait.

“Examine General Hux. I need a detail report.”

The droid carried out his order without a glance of incredulity, but Kylo couldn’t bear looking at Hux being inspected. He strode off to the refresher, suddenly aware of his hand still bloody. Dripping his hands under cool soothing water, he thought about the memories he saw while inside Hux.

He remembered Starkiller, remembered murdering Han Solo to cut off the Light. He wanted to become stronger, only to be defeated by an untrained scavenger right after. The memories afterward were blurred. He could recall being fetched up to a shuttle. Did Hux came to him? He found it difficult to recall, but his mind seemed to fixate in a certain pair of desperate green eyes. Why had he been so oblivious?

Admittedly, Kylo did not care much for the General. Influenced by his master’s orders, Kylo treated Hux as a rivalry, someone who would be eliminated like his father. He was so determined at killing that he never considered other possibilities. Now that Snoke was dead, Kylo could end the General’s life at any time.

Closing the tap abruptly, Kylo stompped out of the refresher back into the living area. He climbed onto the bed, ignoring the droid’s scanning. He wrapped his hands around Hux’s pale neck, yet he couldn’t summon any strength.

Hux was lying unconscious, at Kylo’s mercy. Yet it was the vulnerability he displayed that could not get Kylo to squeeze. Hux’s cheeks were red from getting backhanded. Eyebags deep in color from the lack of sleep. The man even had freckles on his shoulders. Kylo felt both terrified and ached at the discovery, that he had been so unaware of Hux all the time. And now when every scar, every feeling was brought into the light, he couldn’t unseen them anymore.

An aching feeling, he hadn’t felt for many years, began to manifest.

It was a forbidden thing, a product of light.

He tried to inhibit that feeling by reasoning it.

Kylo needed Hux to keep First Order in control. Only Hux could summon the High Command and make sure their loyalty remain with the new Supreme Leader. If the rest of the commanders heard rumors of both Snoke and Hux’s demise, they would not surrender to Kylo. It would be a hindrance far too troublesome if the First Order falls apart before the Resistance is captured. Besides, Hux’s ability to reconstruct the Supremacy and Finalizer was very remarkable. Though his pride felt wounded at the admission, but Kylo knew very little at managing a fleet compare to Hux. He could keep his knights at his whims, but keeping an entire fleet is another thing.

Beep. The driod finished the primary scanning and presented the result.

Kylo released his hold on Hux. Hux’s chin tipped back, further exposing his wan neck. A sudden Force image crossed his mind. _Hux. On the floor. His body sliced across the abdomen by a sharp weapon. A lightsaber wounds. He arches his neck and take desperate breaths. His unfocused eyes staring at the ceiling. Blood. Blood. Blood._

Shocked by the intensity of the Force image and the fact that he was in a trance, Kylo nearly tripped out of the bed. Pushing the Force business aside, he projected the report from the droid. It was a long list. The more Kylo read, the more anger and guilt threatened to break him. The droid made a remark on Hux’s wound, a highlighted indication of sexual assault. Kylo couldn’t bear staying at the crime scene anymore.

He programmed the droid to apply bacta treatment.

He could have healed Hux with the Force, but touching Hux had become unbearable.

He ran away, like he did when he wrecked his home at Chandrila, or when he destroyed Skywalker’s Jedi Temple. When Rey left him at the Throne room, he thought he was resolved to rule Galaxy alone. But now, he felt so lost.

Whatever this unbidden feeling was, Kylo could suppress it as he always did. But he no longer had to abide to Snoke, he didn’t want to lose anything after all he lost at Crait.

-

Like a bonfire being light up, Kylo sensed Hux returning to consciousness one cycle later.

Kylo struggled to find Hux, only to have his footsteps paused upon listening to Hux’s thoughts.

_Anger. Pain. Resentment. Pain. Hurt. Pain. Pain. Pain._

He turned away.

-

The ceasefire between First Order and the Resistance was short lived.  Within two cycles after troops on Finalizer were resembled, a rebellion against First Order broke out on Athulla. That damned Jinata system rebelled once more. The Supremacy was hardly in any shape to attack. However, being the First Order fleet closest to the rebellion, Kylo had no choice but to order his weary army to prepare for another mission.

True to Hux’s prediction, the High Command suggested Kylo to suppress the rebellion to show the Galaxy his prowess. Now Kylo must bring together his low-morale troops. Hopefully, the Resistance on the run would aid this rebellion and he would be able to slay them once and for all.

Hux, on the other hand, was surprisingly calm after the incident. Soon after he woke up, Hux took a cycle leave to gather himself. The leave wasn’t suspicious, as everyone on the Finalizer would have now heard of the rumors how Hux was slammed by the new Supreme Leader on Crait. Kylo tried to monitor Hux’s thought, he could detect anger and shame, but most of all it was a sense of weariness. Hux, if anything, didn’t show the emotional turmoil Kylo expected after an assault. He wondered if the General was plotting his revenge and an assassination in near future seemed very possible. Yet he could not read Hux’s deeper thoughts without risking Hux noticing the intrusion.

He was glad that Hux knew how to take care of himself very well. In fact, he was almost proficient in tending wounds and dulling the pain. He wasn’t very shocked at Hux having an abundant amount of bacta patches at his quarter. Although the General hardly fight on the field, he was not unfamiliar to Snoke’s punishment. Especially after the destruction of Starkiller, Hux had been thoroughly punished by Snoke for his failure. He was very certain Hux’s back was bruised after Snoke slammed him into the wall by conjuring a Force lightning. Yet the man still stood straight and shown no sign of weakness the day after on the chase of the Resistance.

Hux was always a difficult man to break. He had that kind of defiance in him that made Kylo wanted to destroy. Yet the defiance was unrelenting, like weed surviving a wildfire and growing all over the field again. Perhaps killing it was not for the best.

Kylo could hardly feel the bursting pain radiating from Hux now from a few cycles ago. Either Hux took the right medication, or he was good at hiding his agony.

The General was currently posing at the bridge. Any trace of vulnerability Kylo witnessed that night was swiftly hidden under the calm demeanor as Hux barked orders on the officers to get ready for the next battle. It would be impossible to imagine the General having thin frame and brusied body, yearns for company and dares to hope, because Hux in his intimidating great coat always gave a ruthless impression. The fierce professionalism Kylo did not judge, but a false sense of security Kylo now suspected.

Breaking the delirium, Kylo stood up from the makeshift throne in his temporary office and decided to finally sort things out with the General. If it was obedience he wanted, Kylo now achieved his goal because Hux was busy working himself in fighting a battle on his behalf. Besides, Kylo found no trace of coup or assassination when he drove into Hux’s mind. The search in Hux’s mind, in fact, was counterproductive. Instead of finding the evidence of betrayal which would consolidate his determination to execute Hux, Kylo was exposed to Hux’s memories that became an emotional hindrance. Whenever his thoughts strayed to the General, he would be reminded of Hux’s hesitation in killing him and pathetic loneliness. Hux was aware that whatever he felt began to cloud his judgement, and now these thoughts began to cloud Kylo’s judgement as well.

The troopers greeted him solemnly as Kylo walked down the hallways.

Obedience was his primary goal, but it wasn’t the only thing he wanted from Hux. Not anymore. There was this primal beast of desire clutching its jaw inside of him, awakened at the disheveled sight of Hux and threatened to run wild at any time. He wasn’t sure if this desire resonates with whatever Hux felt in his memories.

Kylo decided that it would be entirely Hux’s move whether he let this desire run free.

There were simply too many things to sort out.

As he entered the Bridge, the crew noticeably tensed up but they did not throw any curious stare. Hux flinched at Kylo’s presence, but he immediately resumed his focus on the reports dedicated to damage repair. As Kylo approached the General, he could feel a spark of panic radiating off Hux.

“How is the preparation for the strike going?”

Hux met his eyes, they were bloodshot. “We are able to arrange enough combat power for the coming strike after reallocating resources on Supremacy to Finalizer. We suffered a rather alarming loss of ammunition in Crait-“

Kylo’s eyes narrowed at the sentence.

“Which is completely recoverable loss as we have ammunition suppliers in the Outer Rims.” Hux chose his wordings more carefully, making the cautious amendment. “Fortunately, we did not suffer a huge loss of troopers albeit Supremacy’s destruction. We have enough ground troops to suppress the weaklings who dare to rebel.”

“The Resistance should have picked up the news of the rebellion by now. Should they decide to support their pathetic allies, we will need to be able to eliminate them once and for all.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” Hux answered smoothly, yet he seemed distracted and his eyes momentarily shifted away from Kylo’s stare. An awkward silence followed. Hux seemed to hope the silence would make Kylo leave, but Kylo would not allow this chance to slip away.

Instead, he ordered, “A word, General.”

Hux’s eyes filled with uncertainty, but he took the request and escorted Kylo to an empty meeting room.

Once the door was shut, Kylo turned Hux towards him and pulled down his collar.

“What are you-“

A ring of still livid bruises around Hux’s neck and yellowish bruises on his chest were exposed to the cool air.

“You shouldn’t be working in this state. Your wounds haven’t healed.” Kylo commented, letting go of Hux’s collar when he felt fear rolling off the General. Of course, Hux wasn’t taking care of himself, he never did.

“Let me remind you my health is not your problem. You need not to be concerned. Supreme Leader.” Hux replied while tucking his collar up, ready to leave the room.

“I don’t need a General who is a burden.” Hux’s shoulder tensed at the statement.  “You are not in condition. Your wounds need proper medical care.” Kylo squeezed Hux’s shoulder lightly, earning a surprised yet clearly pained yelp from Hux. “Obviously your shoulder has not recovered.”

“So now you are concerned over my health?” Hux scoffed, the familiar defiance began to resurface. “If you don’t want me to be bruised, you should have considered not bruising me at the first place.”

“I needed to make sure you know your place-”

Hux stomped angrily towards Kylo, for a moment, Kylo felt as if Hux had loomed over him. “Have I not established my loyalty to the First Order till my very last breath?” He hissed. “I was obliged to serve the First Order ever since I was a child. And now, you are the First Order.”

Why? Why did you have to…

Uneasiness overwhelmed Kylo, as he listened to Hux’s shouting while overhearing his thoughts. “And now you have proven your worthiness to this position.” Kylo replied coldly. “Therefore, I am now ordering you to go to the med bay.”

“These injuries are nothing. My command remains impeccable. You have seen me worked while injured in the past, you have witnessed my capabilities.” Hux reasoned, as his eyes frantically searched for the evidence of consensus in Kylo’s eyes.

“I won’t repeat my order once more, General.”

Hux’s confidence faltered for a bit. “Please, Supreme Leader.” Hux pleaded, for the first time Kylo heard the General begs. “You are aware that I am capable of my job. If you have any doubt, I would prove my abilitiesa at any time.”

Gaze averted, Kylo did not respond to Hux’s pleas and turned towards the door.

Rough hands grabbed Kylo’s cloak, a kiss landed on his lips as Kylo was maneuvered around. The kiss from Hux reeked of a mixture of caf and tarine tea. What should be morning refreshments felt like anxiety and desperation instead. Against better judgement, Kylo drank in the panic and pain Hux could no longer hide. The desire so deep almost ran free, except Hux broke off last minute.

“I could be useful in more ways.” Hux muttered while his gaze fixated on Kylo. “If you wish to use me this way, we can come to an agreement.” Despite the seemingly calm demeanor, Kylo could see Hux’s slight trembling.

It was then Kylo realize he had once again took away something important from Hux. First was dignity, when he forced himself upon Hux. Then it was his pride, now that he tried to remove Hux from his position. It was no wonder why Hux was so agitated and cornered from the series of event. Apparently keeping his role as the General was more important and Hux was ready to give up everything for it.

It was pathetic and pitiful, but it was also how Hux had lived for all these years.

Funny, the way he would consider Hux’s feelings.

Kylo took a tentative step towards Hux, reaching for the General’s right wrist. Hux made no move to withdraw his wrist. Slowly tucking the sleeve of the great coat, Kylo revealed the thick bacta patches on Hux’s arm. Kylo ran his fingers softly on the patches as if Hux was made of glass.

“You need to change the patches. The blood soaked through.” Kylo stated out his observation, as he untucked Hux’s sleeves. “You will tend to the wounds now. Then you will end the Rebellion on Athulla. You will bring victory like you always does. The section at med bay shall be postponed to afterward.”

Eyes widened, Hux looked utterly surprised by Kylo’s change of mind. He went completely speechless and fumbled at his sleeves. Kylo almost felt sorry for not agreeing on the General’s suggestion before. As a result, Hux had this expression as if Kylo finally went out of his mind.

Schooling his expression, Hux bowed before continuing, “Thank you, Supreme Leader.”

“And,” Kylo said as Hux raised up to address him. “If you are genuine about that agreement, we could gladly discuss about it after you return from Athulla. Am I correct you will execute the mission successfully to make up what happened at Crait?”

“There will be no more mistake.” Hux answered.

Hux seemed to be uncomfortable under Kylo’s scrutiny. If anything, it seemed to be opportunistic to ask Hux all those questions he had in mind now. On one hand, he was not deceived by Hux’s occasional vulnerability to believe that he had no ambition. It was Hux’s nature to be always hungry for power. On the other hand, a small tender voice deep buried in him wondered if power is all Hux capable of loving.

_Attention all units. Battle location arrived._

“Godspeed, General.”

Staring at Hux’s silhouette disappearing into the cold hallway of the Finalizer, Kylo was recalled the many times Han Solo and Leia Organa left him at the Jedi Temple. He always thought his parents were afraid of him, that they sent him away because his father loved his smuggler life and his mother valued her senator career instead of their son. Now that he thought about it, he realized it wasn’t true.

Or he simply wished it wasn’t Hux’s case, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. This chapter is no beta'ed. Your support means a lot to the sleep-deprived me. Kudos and comments are appreciated.


	3. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the planet of Athulla, Hux and Kylo faced mysterious enemies as well as an emotional fallout.

Same as anyone in Hux’s career, Kylo was skeptical of the General’s abilities in battle.

Him being skeptical was not unreasonable though.Given that during his time with Hux, they were constructing the Starkiller and Hux was more of an engineer than a soldier. It was true that Hux ascended from ranks by technological terror, especially with his obsession on destructive weapons and trooper programs. But either of these were being challenged at Athulla.

  
“Team Charlie, team Charlie. This is command shuttle, over.”

  
“Sir,” Peavy said as he continued calling for the ground force. “I afraid there is a traffic in air. The capital city of Athulla is in chaos.

Many trooper teams are requesting support.”

  
“Cut into the network, team Charlie is top priority-”

  
“General!” A female officer shouted as she pulled off her headphones and reported directly to Hux. “We just lost the signal of team Charlie. Their last location is in the forest outside the capital city.”

  
“Kriffing hell, contact team Alpha instead, let them carry out the contact to the government building.” Hux re-arranged his command cap as he ordered the officers in the command shuttle. Kylo noticed that it was one of the small habits Hux would do when he was in stress.

  
Although the combine fleet of Finalizer and Supremacy had suffered loss in the battle of Crait, it was mostly ammunition shortage rather than troopers’ casualties. It wasn’t the first time a rebeliion outbroke in Athulla, though Kylo nor Hux command the previous suppression. According to reports Hux went through during the landing trip to the planet, Athulla was naturally full of primeval forest while rest of the surface was covered by water. The planet was not very developed beside the capital city and First Order base, in which Hux had a detailed map of all facilities in them. Therefore, Hux concluded as he explained to Kylo, the planet being formerly controlled by the First Order shouldn’t be a big problem.

Kylo sat on the commanding chair on his command shuttle, whereas Hux stood in front of the stations overviewing their mission on Athulla. Of course, Kylo was not fooled into letting Hux command his army without his supervision. Different from Crait, he didn’t interrupt Hux’s orders and decided to overlook the General working instead. This was what Snoke did all the time, and Kylo found it quite effective because even being silent, his presence was very well-aware among his shuttle. He could sense Hux’s nervousness when he occasionally peeked at his Supreme Leader.

  
For the first hour after landing, the mission went smoothly. Kylo could see a smirk on Hux’s face, a smirk he didn’t know he missed until he saw it again. Now that he realized ever since the destruction of Starkiller, he and Hux only suffered from countless defeats and mockeries by the Resistance. It would do good to the fleet’s morale if they took Athulla easily.

  
Except the Galaxy seemed to be playing against them.

  
Most of the citizens in the capital city was cooperative, albeit a few radical members that were easily taken care of. The government of Athulla refused to pick up Hux’s transmission from the shuttle, which was odd because if they should seek help immediately should they be threatened by any Rebellion. Even if they defected to the Rebellion, they would have offered a negotiation or at least an ultimatum of sort by now. Team Charlie was given the mission to head to the government building and determine what is going on, while other teams were responsible of guarding the city and killing any suspects if needed. Hux imposed a curfew and the message was broadcasted all over the planet.

  
It was until the night cycle that trooper teams began to report assault. Team Delta first reported being attacked by unidentified forces that “swiped out most of the team”. Hux’s wild guess on the attacker was a wild beast from the forest. He ordered the remaining of team Delta to retreat, dismissing the lingering suspicions that the attack was not natural. It was because team Delta was posted in the outskirt of the capital city and it was quite likely they encountered wild animals. It wasn’t until later when team Bravo and team Echo reported injuries by unknown attackers, and these unknown attackers began to take down the ground forces.

  
There was an ominous disturbance in the force. It wasn’t common to feel such disturbance, because this implied that there was a lot of activities in the force. Since Athulla didn’t have any other species attuned to force or any artifacts by Jedi or Sith reported, there shouldn’t be this amount of force activities happening on the planet.

Kylo remained silence despite his observation, but he probed the General’s surface of mind to see what plan Hux was making. Hux didn’t bothered building any defence against mind-reading ever since Kylo violated his mind. Hux’s surface thoughts were projected even louder than before, but he would have noticed if Kylo tried to probe deeper. The General also found the situation unnerving. He was going over a list of Resistance sympathizers and space pirates in his mind. Kylo was impressed by the vast extent of knowledge Hux had on crime organizations. But all of the guess on inter-galactic organizations were dismissed, because there was no intrusion on the planet’s surrounding net ever since they arrived. It could only be local militia of Athulla, but Hux doubted they would pose any threat to a First Order fleet.

  
“Send team Foxtrot to fetch team Charlie. I need status report. Tell them to be aware of potential assault.” Hux said as he made up his mind. His calm demeanor fractured by his anxiety.

  
The female officer responsible for transmission hesitated. “Sir, I afraid team Foxtrot is currently recovering team Bravo at the city’s downtown.” She replied.

  
“Then send team Echo or team Quebec!” Hux exclaimed, losing his temper.

  
The female officer was visibly trembling in fear. “Team Echo is still down from the assault and team Quebec-” Hux threw an angry scowl. “Team…Team Quebec has taken up team Delta’s duty at the outpost.”

  
“And team Tango is positioned at town square.” Hux muttered as he ran his palm over his face.

  
Kylo was equally surprised that their ground force was outwitted by the unidentified attacks. It just wasn’t an easy job to take down four teams in such a short team and mess up Hux’s strategy. Whoever these opponents where they must be large in number and impossible not to be seen. It was then Kylo felt another significant wave of disturbance in the force. A startling explosion-like feeling from the forest team Charlie was lost.

  
“General.” Kylo spoke for the first time since they took off from Finalizer. Hux as well as every officer in the commanding shuttle tensed at Kylo’s voice. “Since no trooper teams are available, we shall retrieve team Charlie ourselves.”

  
Hux looked stunned by Kylo’s request. The order might be foolish since there were only a dozen armed troopers on board the command shuttle. Except for this case, Kylo Ren was on the shuttle. He may be the Supreme Leader, but he was still the strongest warrior of the First Order. He could easily lead a team of dozen troopers to eliminate whatever attackers on the planet. He didn’t need to touch Hux’s mind to know that the General understood his intention.

“Supreme Leader,” Hux answered, yet he averted his eyes from looking at Kylo. “I appreciate your insight to the current situation, but I afraid we can’t risk our command shuttle being shot down in the middle of an operation. Not until we identified the number and background of these attackers.”

  
Kylo felt yet another disturbance in the force again, even stronger this time. Something was out of place on this planet, and those force-null stormtroopers couldn’t handle any bit.

  
“This is an order, General.” Kylo let impatience colored his tone. “Once landed in the clearing near the location of team Charlie, I will lead 10 troopers to retrieve them. You will stay put on the shuttle.”  
Kylo’s words must have irritated Hux enough to make the General scowl at him. He knew the General wasn’t afraid to die or fight if necessary. He was just playing it safe and too proud to let his strategies go. Hux opened his mouth as if to throw some sarcastic retort, but he changed his mind before the words came out and ordered the officers to set the destination instead.

Hux’s anxiety was palpable, but underneath the fear and the anticipation, Kylo could sense a small undercurrent of disappointment. Kylo wondered what the General was disappointed at, probably the mission going wrong and ruin his day? Kylo had been fascinated but also concerned at his new discovery on Hux’s emotion. Besides the scorn and smugness that was ever presented, Hux displayed emotions like fear, uncertainty, longing, worry during the few cycles Kylo proclaimed himself Supreme Leader. All these emotions presented a sense of vulnerability within the General, something that was so humane that Kylo thought the cold General did not possess.

And all these emotions began to slowly crippling Hux.

  
During his years at the Jedi Temple, Skywalker often spoke of the consequences of his grandfather-Darth Vader for letting his emotion guide him. The manipulated hatred he felt towards the Jedi had clouded his judgement, resulting the massacre of many Jedi and in the end, the demise of Kylo’s grandmother- Vader’s beloved. To deal with his frustration, Kylo always let out his emotion in rounds of angry fits, that leaded to the many equipment destroyed on Finalizer. Sometimes, he used the meditation approach Skywalker taught him, which was one of the few things he liked about him.  
Hux hardly showed any emotions before, except now his cool façade began to fall apart and it was slowly eating him out. Kylo knew the abuse he threw on Hux took parts in Hux’s emotional turmoil.

  
Once the mission is over, he must discuss with the General about their agreement and everything happening with them since Crait.  
Everyone noticeably tensed upon the arrival to the clearing. It was roughly four hundred meters away from the last location of team Charlie, so Kylo and his troopers would have to approach cautiously. Kylo stood up from his commanding chair and made his way to the door leading to the exit of the shuttle. The team of 10 troopers, now armed, following their Supreme Leader. Kylo gave a last look at Hux, who was staring intensely at the signal board of nearby troopers. They did not bid any goodbye.

  
As Kylo began to walk on Athulla’s surface, his prediction on the attacks were verified. There were a group of presence using the force and attacking the troopers. Their signs in the Force were foreign, it didn’t belong to his knights or Rey. But whoever using the force wasn’t smart either, because they clearly did not mask their presences and anyone attuned to Force in the Outer Rims could sense them. Violence by the force was obvious to Force-users if they decided to listen. It was Kylo who didn’t bother hiding his use of the Force, because every force-user was wary of him anyways.

  
The forest was strangely quiet, lack of noises by insects or birds or any animals that should be abundant in a primeval forest. Although the trip was filled with uneasiness, they made it to the location without any assault. There were clearly signs of battle everywhere, blaster shots on the trees and ground, blood, and trails of messy footsteps that showed stormtrooper’s regulation boots and those he couldn’t recognize.

Suddenly, there were strange movements in the bushes, as if someone was kicking at it.  
Kylo signaled the troopers to be alert. He uncapped his lightsaber and approached the bushes.

  
“Mhmmm!” The man was in his stormtrooper armors, gagged and helmet lost. Kylo removed the gag and the stormtrooper spit to the ground. “Supreme Leader! They are here! They control us!” He shouted, eyes reflecting hysteria.

  
The intrusion to his mind was sharp and painful, caught Kylo off guard and he doubled over. The force-user was practiced, he/she knew where to attack to knock people out immediately. It had been a while someone invaded Kylo’s mind ever since Snoke was dead. In fact, very little people could get inside of his mind in the galaxy. The force-user was not trained though. Kylo quickly gained upper hand and pushed the force-user out of his mind.

  
He stood up, staring at his surrounding and saw his team of stormtroopers unsurprisingly out cold. There was a girl, hiding behind a tree while sticking her head out. Ah. So, the force-user was a she. The girl was terrified to see him unfazed by her mind trick. Reaching towards the girl, Kylo tightened his fist and the girl struggled at his choke. Obviously, the girl was untrained if she couldn’t deal with a force choke. He summoned the girl forward, slightly releasing his hold for the girl to breath and talk.

  
“Who do you work for?” Kylo demanded.

  
“I am not going… to tell you anything!” The girl replied with difficulties.

  
Suddenly, her attention was drawn to something behind Kylo. Sensing hostility, Kylo dropped the girl and quickly stopped the blaster shot mid-air. He re-directed the shot to the nearest tree. There were two men standing visibly at the bush, Kylo could sense a few more nearby. He was obviously outnumbered since all his troopers were knocked down by the force-sensitive girl. Kylo would love to capture them, because force-users were simply too rare to let them go easily. However, it was for the best if he retreats for now and rally his findings to Hux. After all, he was no certain the extent of abilities these people possess.

  
“Supreme Leader!” The panic voice of Hux from transmission immediately caught Kylo’s attention. “We are under attack…. Force-users… They are trying to take over the shuttle.”

  
Hux seemed to be out of breath, his breathing was irregular and pained. Kylo unconsciously took a step back, utterly startled by the alarming number of force users. How in the hell can a kriffing planet like Athulla gathered so many of them? He could have defended himself from the force-users, Hux and the remaining crew could not. He needed to get back to the shuttle immediately.

  
The men began another round of blaster firing at him. He seized the opportunity, redirecting all the shots to the ground, creating a whirl of dust between him and the attackers. Then he did the one thing he was so ashamed of, he fled and rushing back to his command shuttle.

  
“Hux, can you hear me?” He frantically tapped the transmission.

  
“Yes, Ren. I am fine, be quick.”

  
Except Hux was everything but fine. His irregular breathing showed that he was injured, again. Those injuries combining with the injuries Hux already had made him not fine at all. Just this once, Kylo decided to lay down whatever offense he held against trusting the General and made his way to help Hux. After all, he couldn’t let Hux die, not now at the least.

  
When Kylo returned to the clearing, which was awfully quiet, he reached to the force to search for signs of conscious minds. Kylo could pick up 2 signs, one was the familiar loud amber light Hux was, another was an unfamiliar dull light. Whoever attacked Kylo back there and the command shuttle should be the same group, considering their identical strategy to knock people out with force. Judging from their primarily avoidance to kill, these people were likely not trained assassins. At this distance, Kylo could sense Hux’s mind calm albeit stressed and tired. He didn’t seem to be in immediate danger.

  
Cautiously making his way to the shuttle’s entrance, Kylo saw a few dead bodies that were not First Order. Two were shot in the gut, clearly blaster wounds. While the one on the aisle was swiftly cut in the throat, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground. It seemed that the General had finally make use of that malicious monomolecular blade hidden in his sleeve.

"Supreme Leader," Kylo heard his title as soon as he boarded the command shuttle. Hux was sitting on the command chair, which Kylo took a mental note to chide him later. The General was pointing a blaster at a man who was tied down next to him on the ground. Tired as he seemed to be, Hux did not let his guard down.

"We've been attacked by a group of Force users. This man is a part of the assualt. He refuse to speak now, but we have many ways to get a man talk once back to the Finalizer."

Kylo glazed at his surrounding, he could see Captain Peavey and other Officers laying unconscious on the floor. They are not harmed albeit knocked out. It was strange even for First Order bases. If someone choose to target First Order, they wouldn't usually live any survivors. Unless the attackers on Athulla wasn't targetting them on the first place.

"It was a heavy blow to the mind." Hux recalled while he continued to aim at the captured. "For a moment, I thought I would have passed out as well. Except I have been familiar with these petty assault on the mind to endure them."

Despite sensing the bitterness in Hux's words, Kylo was almost glad Hux didn't fall into the crust of unconsciousness. He knew it was because of the abuse Snoke and himself inflicted on Hux. But the resilience Hux developed had prevented First Order's Command Shuttle to be taken over. It was more than fortunate.

"We need to gather up the remaining troops and relay the change of our enemies' status." Kylo said, staring at Hux. "I need to send for my knights. Stormtroopers are nothing against Force users."

For a flick of second, Hux's expression darkened in respone to Kylo's comments. He schooled his expression into the usual poker face. 

"Yes, Supre-"

Before Hux could finish his reply, he was tackled out of the command chair and landed on his back. The captured man, somehow rid of his bond, was mounting over the General and squeezing his wind pipe. 

"Hux!"

Racing toward Hux as well as reaching out with force, Kylo was knocked out of the his trail. Surprised, he was sent hitting the ground. Humiliation bubbled was immediately dissipated as Kylo realized the man was a Force user as well. An untimely pleasure arised at the fact of meeting more than a few potential Force users in one day. 

It was Hux's pained groans that taunted Kylo into action again.

"Kriffing First Order bastard!"

Hux kicked the man in the guts, but he wasn't able to fight against the force applied on the choke around his throat.

"Murderer!"

The blade hid in Hux's sleeves slided out, landing on the floor a few meters away. Hux desperately clawed at the hands around his throat. Despite the terror that was rolling off, Hux's gaze at the man remained cold and stern. 

Kylo applied pressure to the man's throat in return. "Let go of him now!" He threatened as he use the force to pull the man away. But perhaps overly anguished by the loss of his kins, the man refused to remove his hold on Hux.

It was a dilemma. They needed the Athullian alive in order to get the intelligence. Kylo wouldn't want any more force-sensitive blood to spill. He remembered before the destruction of Starkiller, he mocked Hux about him being expendable after a certain audience with Snoke. He was hoping to struck anger from the General. However, Hux had responded to him with a resigned look that he was in fact expendable like every cells in the machine of First Order.

"What matters is to get the First Order running, to keep what's essential and give up the rest in times of decision."

But no, Kylo thought. Hux was always the essence to the Order. 

He snapped the man's neck.

"Hux!" Kylo raced towards the heaving General. Hux was frantically taking uneven breaths. When he addressed to Kylo's presence, Hux's eyes suddenly widdened and a violent shivering took over. Kylo tried to give a comfort touch, but withdrawing his hand when Hux grasped in horror at his movement.

It was a panic attack.

The intensity of the panic attack was so severe that Hux's frantic memories projected into Kylo's mind uninvited. Hux was thinking about what happened on that night. The choking by the Athullian had just the same amount of intention to kill and hurt Kylo did. It was the first time Kylo saw that night on Hux's prespective. He had felt powerful when he violated Hux and hit him till he surrendered. But now he only felt an immense guilt at the image of Hux's memories.

He was the one who put Hux in pain.

He was the villain in Hux's story.

And now, he would watch helplessly as the throes of the panic attack told hold of Hux.

It felt like hours, decades when Hux was seemingly out of the woods and regained his bearings.

"I am sorry." Kylo muttered as Hux rose to his feets.

Hux did not dignified him with any reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter Hux and Kylo are going to take the discussion. While Kylo began to sympathesize Hux, he still did not knew what's the right thing to do. Would Hux and Kylo find the common ground? Stay tune for the next update :) Thank you for reading.


	4. Vexing, love is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidden feelings muttered against skin finally bought them into the light.

When the Command Shuttle landed on the temporary base, Hux left the shuttle without giving Kylo a glance.

Kylo was going to persuade Hux again into receiving proper medical treatment. He wasn’t particularly keen to become Hux’s nanny droid. Concern is not the proper thing to be voiced in the First Order, after all. However, a nagging feeling still made him feel the way he never did before. A fleeting feeling, he did not want to regard to. Despite his aloofness, Hux was aware of his injuries that he tended them with the medical kit during their flight back. A few shallow cuts and superficial bleeding added on top of the fading bruises. Careful fingers applied a thicker layer of bacta under the gauze. Clean-cut and smooth procedures, every treatment Hux remembered by heart ever since he had to lick his own wounds a long time ago.

Silence engulfed the shuttle accompanied by a low static buzzing from the engine. Kylo sulked the silence, it only magnetified the low murmurs of anger and impulse that’s always broadcasting in the deepest corner of his mind. Waiting for the moment Kylo give in and ignite his lightsaber thrashing into the nearest wall. Hux, however, embraced the silence as if inviting it to flow into him. It was the nothingness. The kind of peace in mind Hux attained through thinking about the raining on his home planet. Kylo was beginning to be attuned to these thoughts now.

“Are you hurt?” Hux asked, a glint of concern hidden in his tone. He motioned at the space next to him, wielding Kylo to take a seat for examination. For a moment, Kylo was stunned and merely blinking at him.

Fortunately, Kylo did not obtain any serious injuries from his brief encounter with the Force users. The force-sensitive girl in the woods was relying on mental attacks instead, but the slam the captured man on the shuttle gave him did leave his back painful. It was probably bruises, nothing Kylo wasn’t already adapted to. Yet, Kylo made himself comfortable besides Hux.

“My back, when I was slammed on the shuttle.” Kylo muttered in shame as he recalled being flung by a weakling capable of little ability in the Force.

The scoff he expected from Hux did not come. Instead, slim fingers began to wrap around his belt and unbuckled them. Hux then unbuttoned Kylo’s coat smoothly, his hand surprisingly calm considering he was shaking when Kylo touched his shoulder a few cycles ago. Perhaps it was because of whose initiation. Anyway, Kylo silently enjoyed Hux’s touch on his skin, as Hux peeled away Kylo’s robe, revealing the expanse of muscle and suspenders. Kylo let his imagination run wild on Hux’s slim fingers. Those fingers would fit so well messing his hair or tucking at the bedsheet.

He wondered why he didn’t let Hux took the initiative, why he never bothered to consider Hux’s desires before acting impulsively. Only to realize he already knew the answer.

“Can you at least cooperate and help me remove those suspenders?” Hux glared at Kylo with accusatory.

Of course, the good General would think of nothing, but aiding his injured Supreme Leader responsibly.

The loosened suspenders slide down Kylo’s shoulder as he unbuckled them. He turned his back to Hux, so that the General could apply bacta. Kylo couldn’t help but shiver when Hux’s fingers brushed against his back. It sent little sparks where Hux touched him, except the feeling was quickly replaced by the cool feeling of bacta. He could feel Hux anxiety and uncertainty at touching Kylo as well, but the General did an excellent job in hiding it with determination to patch his Supreme Leader up. Kylo dismissed his attempt to provoke the General.

“It is but a few bruises. No cut. No blood. Give the bacta a little time to run, you will be able to fight without being holding back.” Kylo sighed when Hux removed his fingers. He tidied up the medical kit, and returned the kit back to the shelf.

As if sliding to the next slide, Hux dived into scheming and contingency plans immediately.

Sometimes, Kylo wondered if Hux ever got tired of his job. Because Kylo resented the duty of being a co-commander ever since the day he boarded the Finalizer. The power behind the position was exquisite, being the person who answered directly to Snoke and unbounded by any martial law. But the mountain of workload and responsibility suffocated Kylo as soon as he tried to lay a finger into the daily running of the Finalizer. It didn’t take long until he began to excuse himself from those endless meetings and reports, because he was a goddamn Force user who was destined for greater things. Hux seemed unfazed by Kylo’s attitude toward running the ship. If anything, he just resumed to working his position alone like before. Kylo had thought people raised in the ex-Empire was all devoted madly to the cause, a rabid cur, that Hux felt nothing beyond duty and power.

Except after his detour into the General’s mind, his impression was proven negative.

He regretted pushing into Hux’s mind, for the fact that he could no longer unseen the similar things Hux shared with him.  It was foolish and impulsive. It was always better to know nothing beyond names and work, because then it wouldn’t get too personal at times of disposal.

He knew it. Hux knew better.

Now, he hoped the feeling would be fleeting, like a small flame on the candle smothered by the wind.

The temporary base was chaotic when they arrived. It was previously the medical base for retrieval on the battle field, but after the sudden loss of contact from the Command Shuttle, remaining leaders of stormtrooper had no choice but to gather at the base in the Capital City of Athulla. They were glad to see the Supreme Leader and the General alive. Hux ordered them to move the unconscious officers on the shuttle to medical tent, though a few of them already woke up and show little sign of damage beyond haziness. It shouldn’t take long until most of them return to duty.

Kylo took his time to contact the Finalizer orbiting Athulla to signal his knights.

He trusted his knights without any doubt. The Knights of Ren were loyal disciples to the strongest master. Power. Something Kylo was chasing his entire life, not scheme or obligation or love. They could all feel Snoke’s demise, could feel Kylo’s role in Snoke’s death, could feel the dramatic imbalance that left a gaping hole in the absence of his former master. Now was the time to prove their loyalty, that they would swear their alliance to the Galaxy’s new ruler.

Albeit Kylo felt he was slowly replacing Snoke’s, filling in the void and the power that left for him to inherit, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint a stable channel to contact all his knights through the Force. In the end, he would have to rely the First Order’s network. Though the act was distasteful, he made sure his call was well-received by his knights.

Leaving the communication tent, Kylo marched straight back to his landed Command Shuttle. Not bothering to feel Hux’s presence through force, Kylo trusted his instinct on his workaholic General. He was immediately greeted by the sight of the slender red-haired man, busy reconditioning the remaining stormtroopers into action. Hux, once again, tensed at the sight of his Supreme Leader entering his own Shuttle. A brief nodding was exchanged. Hux turned to face Kylo, expression neutral.

“How is the progress so far?” Kylo inquired.

“Team Charlie and team Delta are incapacitated. Team Quebec and team Echo now taking up the position to guard the city’s outskirt. The remaining team gathers at the base except for team Alpha.” Hux glanced at the city map’s with stormtroopers’ pinpointed. “Team Alpha reported a successful retrieval of the governors of Athulla. They claimed they are not responsible for this rebellion.”

“A coup?”

“It is far too early to determine the nature of this rebellion. At the least, I think it is reasonable to say that this is more than a strike it was said to be.” Hux answered grimly, as he overlooked the list of lost stormtroopers on his comm.

“The force-users we encountered, they are inexperienced and blunt. It is obvious they did not receive proper training from any master. A sudden boom in new awakenings in the force across the galaxy.” Kylo spoke of his observation. “Rey would have felt it, too.”

Hux scowled at Kylo at his mention of the scavenger girl, like daggers shooting from his eyes. “Supreme Leader. You are well-aware of my shallow knowledge in mystic powers. However, is it not a norm that only a few are privileged to an affinity to the Force?” Hux asked.

“There’s used to be more Jedi and Sith at the age of the Old Republic. It isn’t impossible to have a larger population of Force users, long as the Force reaches a balance.”

“Why the sudden boom?”

“The death of master Snoke and Luke Skywalker left an unbalance in the force. It could be the natural selection of the Force to fill the void of two undeniably powerful figures.” Kylo tried to reason the situation with his knowledge. He also recalled what Skywalker told him on Crait. That he was not the last Jedi. That there would be many rising after him. Kylo just didn’t expect his claims to become true so soon.

“What you mean is there are more force-users to be expected in the future?”

“There will be always be new force-users. It doesn’t matter, as long as seize them before the Resistance, long as they are on our side.” Kylo replied. “You can setup a program for them just like your stormtroopers, raised from birth, trained to be First Order’s loyalist. Isn’t that what you prefer, General?”

Before Hux could come up with a witty statement to Kylo’s sarcasm, their conversation was disrupted by the new transmission from team Alpha. It requested Hux to meet with the Athulla governors who arrived the base. Kylo could sense Hux’s contempt at the incompetent govenors who couldn’t even suppress a local-scale rebellion. However, it was his duty to show courtesy to those who alliance with the First Order.

“If you would excuse me, Supreme Leader.”

“I suggest we continue our conversation after the meetings.” Kylo said without turning to Hux. “We still have a discussion to arrange, after all.”

There was a second of hesitation.

“As you request, Supreme Leader.”

-

It was nearly midnight when Kylo heard footsteps entering his room on his Command Shuttle. Clad in no more than sweatpants, Kylo was going to call it a day suspecting Hux would not come. Hux was still in his uniform, though he hung his great coat and laid his command cap on the bench next to the door. The mop of orange hair was disheveled.

“My apologies for kept you waiting, Supreme Leader. Conflicts arise in the meeting with the Athulla governors, but we have come to an agreement that favors the Order’s interest.”

 “What did they offer?”

“According to the President, the rebellion occurs when a group of force users lead the discontented workers who had been complaining over the government’s reluctance to raise their pay rate. When the government refuse to agree to their terms, which is in fact two times of the current wage, the rebellion began to attack governors and deliberately destroying the President’s house. Soon the rebellion escalated into a revolution against First Order’s territorial control over this planet.”

Kylo motioned Hux to take a seat. “And they seek for our protection?” He asked.

“They swore their alliance to the First Order when they were assigned to their job, so it is within the Order’s duty to offer them protection. They were trying to negotiate into avoiding martial law to be enforced. Pathetic acts to keep their positions. This planet will fall into First Order’s direct rule once the rebellion is dealt with. I suggest Supreme Leader you to assign a General into controlling this planet for a period of transition. The current governors should be replaced, perhaps an early retirement with an honor.” Hux said so fluently as if he had been scheming this for his entire life. “The governors are happier to accept the terms once they know they will evade punishments. The only mission left is to eliminate the Rebellion, no survivors.”

“My knights have all received my request for their presence. They should be ready within two days. Once gathered, the inexperienced weaklings with the Rebellion is nothing against the Knights of Ren. It is their fatal mistake to plot against the rightful ruler of the Galaxy.” Kylo scoffed, though his expression turned grim as he recalled a troublesome factor. “Is there any sign of the Resistance?”

“There’s no intrusion detected from the surrounding net we imposed on this planet. Though it can’t be certain whether Rebellion on this planet is associated with the Resistance, but it seems the Resistance isn’t offering any aid. In fact, I doubt the Resistance will be able to mind other’s business considering their own compromised state.” Hux made a snide remark.

“So, we are clear until tomorrow when we gathered my Knights and the rest of the stormtroopers for a strike back.” Kylo stated as he stared at Hux intently.

Sensing the change in their conversation topic, Hux momentarily tensed before schooling himself back to the cool composure. “Yes,” He averted his gaze from Kylo’s glare, expression resigned.

The last thing Kylo wanted was Hux treating conversing with him like a job. It was because Kylo had been resenting his duty from day 1. It was because once the blinding anger dissipated, Kylo realized he wanted a willing company. Not someone who was plotting over his assassination all day. Not someone whose eyes no longer show any light. But someone who sees his scar and still cherishes them. He wondered if the desire itself is selfish.

He thought of the memories he saw from Hux when he invaded his mind. He could still feel the hollowness and bitterness rolling off the memories. The similar yearning that Kylo had been struggling with his whole life. Why wouldn’t Hux say anything about it?

“You are pushing yourself, even further since Crait.” Kylo stated. “You could have stayed at Finalizer and take some deserved rest at med bay. I won’t replace you for that.”

“I am the one and only General on the Finalizer. It is my duty to lead and command my-our- army, as long as I could stand and think.” Hux answered. “What are my injuries compare to those on the Supremacy?”

“So that’s it.” Kylo concluded. “You want to prove your value after suffering from too many defeats. Oh General, are you nothing without your rank?” He was irritated by Hux’s apathy towards the rest of the things.

Hux clutched his fists. “Why do you care, Supreme Leader?” He hissed. “I thought the only reason I am still breathing is because of my usefulness as a General. Or have you finally decided to put me out of my misery, perhaps tomorrow on the battlefield?”

“Don’t push your luck, General.”

“You said it yourself I am pushing myself all the time.” Hux let his words to be colored by bitterness. Kylo tried to suppress his urge to choke the General. He wanted to pull truth out of Hux, not suffocating him. “I afraid I don’t have any concern beyond delaying my death by performing my duty efficiently. That is, if you are willing to heed my advice, I could tell you a few plans to begin with as the new Supreme Leader.”

“I see you have been scheming about the throne for a long time. Snoke may had overseen it. I didn’t.”

“You have been inside my mind, so I am not shy in admitting my ambition. I have emptied all my cards, Ren. I have offered everything I have to keep my head attached.” Hux replied as he tilted his head. “All you have to do is to ask and take like the petulant child you are.”

“Is that so?” Kylo questioned as he stood up. “Lie on the bed.”

“What?” Hux seemed surprised by Kylo sudden demand, albeit how prepared he imagined he had been.

“You heard me.”

Hux sighed and stood up from the couch. He hesitated when his hand travelled to the buttons on his shirt, seemingly not sure whether Kylo want him naked or should he help Kylo with his clothes first. He raised his hand to re-arrange his command cap out of nervous habit, only to realize he already took it off.

“What ways do you want me?”

“Take off your pants.” Kylo demanded, totally unashamed of his desires. Why should he when he is the Supreme Leader now? “I want to blow you.”

Hux immediately blushed at Kylo’s straight-forwardness. He fumbled at his pants fly, removing his pants like a sneak peeling off its skin as well as his boxers. Lying the heap of clothes, the desk beside his cap and coat, the only thing covering him was his black undershirt. He dutifully walked toward the bed and laid as Kylo demanded.

“The last time I had you,” Kylo said as he climbed on the bed after wriggling off his pants and motioned Hux to lie on his back. “I forced you into it and looked into your mind, uninvited.”

Hux gasped when Kylo wrapped his hand around the base of cock. Kylo’s mouth travelled down Hux’s thig, laying wet kisses before he took Hux’s balls between his lips. He grazed his teeth against the pale skin, carefully not to bite Hux, but reminding him who is at mercy.

“So, this time, I am going to return a flavor.” Kylo muttered into Hux’s skin as he sucked Hux’s balls teasingly. “And I am going to tell you a secret as well.”

Hux stared at him with suspicion. He bit his lips when Kylo turned his attention to the tip of Hux’s cock.

“When I went into your mind, I saw the memories you had about me. The one when you rescued me from Starkiller, the one at Snoke’s throne room, and a lot more.”

Hux felt mortified and surprised about Kylo looking into his private memories instead the scheming he assumed Kylo was aiming. “Shut up!” Reazling what he said was totally lack of courtesy, he immediately changed his tone. “Supreme Leader, please put your tongue on me.”

In response, Kylo lowered his head and curled his tongue around Hux’s cock, taking Hux between his lips. Hux’s breath hitched and turned into broken moans. Encouraged by Hux’s moaning, Kylo took Hux’s cock deeper attentively into the open heat of his mouth. He could feel Hux being overwhelmed by the pleasure, as the ginger arched himself toward his Supreme Leader.

Hux’s moaning filled the room. Kylo wondered if this room is soundproofed from the rest of the command shuttle, but with Hux writhing beneath him, he realize he couldn’t care less.

He used to force to tease Hux’s balls while he sucked Hux’s cock in a pleasuring pace. Hux seemed to be too lost in the sensation that he wasn’t startled by Kylo applying the force on him. He could sense Hux’s reaching to a climax, as the ginger’s grip on Kylo’s hair tightened.

“I am -ah- going to cum!”

Just as Hux was about cum, Kylo removed his mouth from Hux’s cock, barring him from the bliss of climax.

“What?” Hux asked, squirming against Kylo with his pale skin flushed.

“I said I am going to tell you a secret.” Kylo said as he looked at Hux’s between his legs, smirking.

 _Damned overdramatic brute!_ He could feel Hux swearing in his mind. All he could do is desperately arching against Kylo, at his mercy, pleading for a relieve.

Kylo sucked a kiss against the insides of Hux’s thigh. “I felt your emotions from those memories.” He muttered to Hux’s skin. “And I want to tell you, I feel the same as you.”

Obviously taken by surprise, Hux’s eyes widened and opened his mouth to respond. But Kylo’s lips wrapped around his cock before the response came out, and a loud moan escaped from Hux’s throat instead. Hux cummed into Kylo’s mouth and groaned against the pillow. Kylo indulged himself into the fervor of Hux’s orgasm through the force. It was a cheat, but the waves of pleasure pushed Kylo off the edge as well, cumming into the bedsheet.

Slowly returning to himself, Kylo stood up and strolled toward the bathroom.

“Ren!”

He paused his footsteps.

 _Why?_ He sensed Hux’s confusion. He didn’t know if Hux was asking about the blowjob, or the confession, or every fucked-up thing that had happened between them. And he realized Hux didn’t know either.

“Take some rest, General. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

He turned off the light and took off to the bathroom instead, hoping that by tomorrow, he would have to courage to face everything between him and Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit dub con, because Kylo and Hux are not of same status when the sex happens. But Hux has given his consent regardless, so I don't consider this as non con. 
> 
> We're heading to the last chapter! Stay tune to see if Hux will face his buried feelings for Kylo. The next chapter will be scheduled on late September. Thank you for all who supported this story till now!


	5. Until the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the raging war on Athulla, Kylo must make a decision that will change him and Hux forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to everyone who read, commented , left kudos and bookmarked this story. It is my first try in Kylux and I am very glad that there have been heartening support. I apologize for the delay in this last chapter, it is probably better to read the fic from the beginning again!

It was very early when Kylo awoke from his slumber, before the first light. However, turning to the other side of the bed, he realized that Hux was absent, leaving a void in the bed. His palm smoothed over the bedsheet, feeling the warm residue on the surface. A quick check through the force, he found his General in the refresher. He couldn’t help but sighed in relieve.

He laid on his back, staring at the ceiling absentmindedly.

It was odd that Kylo found himself wishing they could never leave the bed, that the world forever stayed at the very moment when he confessed and sent spike of pleasure in Hux, freed of the need to confront their feelings, the unspeakable secrets heavy in the air and the burden of a Rebellion to fight. As a warrior, he never blushed away from battle. He was not blood-thirsty, contrary to whatever rumors the Galaxy like to impose on him. But he enjoyed the display of power and the fuel of fear. It made him someone with a great destiny, someone special, someone approved instead of being distanced by his family. For all his life, he had been living for his own gain.

So, it felt strange when he began to consider someone else’s sake.

It was ridiculous how he considered Hux’s feelings, because whether Hux was in pain or in health shouldn’t had bothered him enough to nanny him. How he was genuinely contented to see Hux coming in pleasure, because it wasn’t his own orgasm in the first place. How he wished Hux’s safety, because it had nothing to do with his own safety.

It seemed, the fluttering feeling in his heart drove him irrational.

A lightsaber should have meet Hux’s throat already, for irritating Kylo in a way he couldn’t even think of anything beside the copper hair. Except he didn’t wanted to slash Hux like he did to the workstations on the Finalizer, he only wanted to embrace him in the hand tainted with a thousand men’s blood. How foolish had he become.

The white noise from showering stopped inside the refresher. Kylo sit up from his bed, trying to gather the resolution to talk to Hux about last night. He put on his pants and the tank top along with the suspenders. He was thinking of taking his lightsaber but changed his mind after thinking he wanted to look less intimidating.

A moment later, Hux stepped out of the refresher, in his full set of uniform other than his cap and red hair still wet. He ran his tower over his hair before dropping it to the nearest table. He was still pale and sullen-looking, but at least fear and stress no longer rolled out like tides from him. Standing very still with eyes settled on Kylo, he waited for his Supreme Leader to speak.

 “When do you report to the command tent?”

“In half standard hour.” Hux answered and turned his head to look at the window, the sun began to rise as light shone through the horizon of Athulla.

Silence quickly filled the room.

“Hux,” Kylo said, trying to push through the obvious awkwardness lingering in the air. “I am alright with our current arrangement. But I want you to consider- “He abruptly cut himself off when he sensed someone approaching his room.

There was a polite knock from the door. A brush on the mind Kylo identified the person outside a First Order personnel. He looked at the door, before glancing at Hux in an enquiry. Hux simply shrugged, seemingly unfazed by the fact that personnel would see him in the Supreme Leader’s room. Kylo told her to come in.

“Supreme Leader.” The Lieutenant bowed, raising her head only to meet her General as well. She was very surprised by Hux’s presence, but she immediately saluted to the General and did not questioned any further.

“Speak, Lieutenant.”

“A distress signal was detected broadcasting from this planet. It seemed to be broadcasted from the wood, it is estimated to be the Rebellion we are fighting.” She reported.

“And who did they ask for help?”

“It was picked up by a system in the Outer Rim, which had been one of the suspected base of the Resistance.”

Kylo clutched his fist. Although he had been attempting to find the Resistance ever since Crait, as he plucked the severed force bond between him and Rey, but now was not the best time since they didn’t have the absolute upper hand either. He simply hoped there wasn’t any more force-user awakened in the Resistance like the boom here in Athulla.

“The Resistance was crushed after Crait, with mere hundred survivors on the Falcon.” Hux stated, carefully considering his words. “Would they leave whatever hiding place they have to help a small group of Rebellion, risking their own safety?”

“They would.” Kylo pointed out with no doubt. He knew his mother’s ideology very well. Even if others didn’t answer to her distress call, the General herself would help anyone who need their “salvation”. They called it hope. Pathetic idea from the light side.

Hux was suspicious, but he did not make any move to talk back. “If that’s the case,” Hux switched his tactics and drawing new positioning in his mind. “We will need to defeat the local Rebellion before the Resistance arrives. We cannot afford to fight both front at the same time.”

“So be it.” Kylo agreed. “The first light has come. We shall begin our attack earlier than planned. General, take command at the command tent. Lieutenant, return to your station immediately.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” The Lieutenant answered, leaving the room.

Hux reached into his packet and threw a small black piece to Kylo. Opening his palm, Kylo saw an earpiece small enough to be not easily seen. “You can keep up with the commander channel. Talk to me if you seek help on the field. Supreme Leader, please be prudent.”

Hux bowed at Kylo and took his command cap before walking out of the room. Putting on his earpiece, Kylo thought about telling him the rest of the words he wanted to say. But, now was not the right time. Now, they must fight the enemies and played their own roles in this battle.

-

Hux’s tactic had been successful. The First Order troops were able to push their boundaries from the city outskirt into the woods by the first standard hour. When his knights arrived on the second standard hour, they were able to destroy the mind barrier set by the force users from the Rebellion. Once the mind barrier no longer disrupted the stormtroopers, they were able to surround the Rebellion’s base at the woods. It would be a matter of time the Rebellion surrender, whether from too many casualties or from out of bullets. A darker thought bubbled when he thought of simply surrounding the Rebellion until they starve to death, but that wouldn’t be the case, not when the Resistance could arrive in any minute.

Kylo was on board his command shuttle, hovering over the battlefield to oversee the suppression. Hux was not with him, but on the ground commanding the troopers to fire at the Rebellion. The Rebellion’s base was located along the hill in the wood. Kylo could sense them hiding in the caves. They couldn’t hide forever, soon the First Order would run over the hill if it was what it takes.

“Stop bombarding the hill.” Kylo shouted. “Send team Delta and team Quebec to knock down the gate, the rest of the teams will follow once the gate is sabotaged.”

“Yes, sir.” A lieutenant shouted, rallying the command to the ground team.

Kylo stood up from his command chair. Despite being the Supreme Leader, he didn’t enjoy overlooking the battle instead of slaying those traitorous weaklings up. He was about to command the pilot to land the shuttle when he sensed a dozen of fighters appearing in the atmosphere of the planet. It was no doubt the Resistance learning Han Solo’s dirty talk to breech the First Order’s surrounding net of the planet. Hux once pointed out after Starkiller destruction the fact that their barrier could be breeched if the spaceship landed with light speed, there really wasn’t any solution between the short period of time to design a more advanced barrier. But, this time they weren’t unprepared.

“The Resistance has arrived.” Kylo announced. “Alarm all air force. Inform my two knights to lead TIE fighters to attack as planned.”

Soon, he saw the Resistance fighters flying across the wood, but with First Order’s fighters chasing closely. This should be able to hold them meanwhile Hux’s troops would gain control of the Rebellion’s base. He ordered the rest of his knights to assist team Delta and team Quebec with the gate through the force. The door was sturdy but ancient, in minutes the Order would seize victory.

“Land the shuttle. Prepare my speeder.” He ordered as he turned towards the door.

“Sir...” Opan spoke, only to shut his mouth when he felt the slight pressure around his throat. Kylo knew everything about the duty of the Supreme leader, but he was not Snoke and he had no intention to hide in his own shuttle.

-

It had been impossible to locate Rey and the Millennium Falcon after Crait, as Rey made a tremendous effort to block Kylo from finding her in the Force. It would require a lot of effort to severe a Force Bond and Kylo wondered if how long Rey could last until a little crack unavoidably exposed. However, here on a planet, Kylo could easily locate the force users by finding the source of disturbance in the Force.

He wasn’t surprised when he found Rey in the woods waiting for him.

Although cladded in the same scavenger outfit on Supremacy, Rey acquired a different aurora since then. She felt more composed in the Force, quite the opposite to how volatile he always was. Rey must had sensed his arrival, as she chose to face him alone, free of any unnecessary intruders like the few previous times.

Instead of igniting her lightsaber at the sight of Kylo, Rey merely called his name from the light softly, “Ben.”

If anything, Kylo didn’t felt as irritated as he would when the name Ben Solo was mentioned. After the short-lived bond he shared with her, Kylo viewed Rey slightly different than a mere scavenger girl from Jakku. If she chose the light side, it wasn’t unacceptable for her to call him with some products of the light. He wasn’t entirely sure what Rey was to him, except that it was entirely distinct from what he felt for Hux. And judging by the hesitance radiating from Rey, she wasn’t entirely sure what to do with him either.

“The Resistance must have reach its allies if you are already out here rescuing refugees.” Kylo stated as a matter of fact, yet still holding on the hilt of his lightsaber firmly.

Rey pulsed her lips, frowning yet did not deny the obvious fact. “There is an awakening in the Force upon Snoke’s death. Awakenings. The Jedi are far from dead.”

“Building a new Jedi Order with weak untrained rookies?” Kylo sneered, expression defiant. “Have you decided to follow Luke Skywalker’s footsteps now that the old man is gone for good?”

Rey shook her head. “I am a member of the Resistance now. The mission of the Resistance is my priority.” She narrowed her eyes. “Your mother still wishes you to go home, despite all that have happened.”

“Yet you didn’t come here to persuade me this time.”

“No.” Rey denied, looking defeated. “I don’t believe family ties matter to you anymore.”

Kylo was a little bit taken aback. He didn’t imagine Rey to give up luring him to the light just a few cycles later, but then again, he also gave up in having her as an apprentice, does it matter anymore? He ignited his lightsaber, red light flickers dangerously.

“I do not wish to fight you now.” Rey stated as a matter of fact.

“You are in no position to demand a truce.” Kylo said, keeping his stare at the Jedi. “What makes you think I will let you go again? Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber won’t save you this time.” He bit back the sour taste in his mouth reminding him it was Rey instead who spared his life in the throne room.  He had to put an end to all the mistakes he had made, once and for all, beginning with the Resistance and the damned Jedi.

Realizing the futility to escape a fight, Rey ignited her lightsaber, mirroring Kylo’s stance. Kylo could sense her feelings at this close distance. Uncertainly. Grieve. Yet determination. The loneliness once prominent now replaced by a sense of duty. The scavenger girl from Jakku finally found her sense of belonging. How mundane.

Kylo decidedly made the first move. Lightsabers crashed, and the force vibrated as Kylo charged toward Rey. Flinging his lightsaber upward, Kylo tried to disarm the Jedi, but Rey quickly blocked his advance as she took a few faltering steps back.  Suddenly, a tree went timbering and falling right onto Kylo, making a perfect blockade between Kylo and Rey. It seemed a few cycles pass by and the scavenger girl already managed to move things around with the Force. The girl truly had a potential too great and out of place for someone from a backwater planet. It wasn’t unprecedented though, didn’t Darth Vader come from a humble background before turning the Skywalker bloodline into a legend? It was a shame that Rey chose to side with the weaklings.

Squeezing his fist, Kylo lifted the fallen tree and sent it down the hill with the force. He could still see the tiny figure of the scavenger girl, trying to run away from a battle, exercising that cowardice just like Luke Skywalker. It is not the Jedi’s way? A ridiculous excuse for weaklings who do no good other than kneeling to the dark and the Order.

Kylo plucked a branch from the tree, sharpening its edge before applying the force to throw it towards Rey. Sensing the approaching danger, Rey turned and sliced the branch in mid air, which was enough to slow her down for Kylo to catch up.

Anger swelled in Kylo’s chest, how dare the scavenger girl try to run from him? Out of instinct, Kylo extended his invisible hold into Rey’s mind, just like the way he used to manipulate the incompetent officers on the Finalizer. He could not afford letting Rey escape from him, even if it took him planting a thought in her head.

The manipulation, however, was once again unsuccessful when Rey retaliated against him. Their psyches in the force crashed, quite like the time in the interrogation room on Finalizer. He saw the familiar faces to the long-deceased Ben Solo, his mother, that damned pilot, FN-2187… Feeling slightly disgusted, he broke his mental hold from Rey’s mind. It was then he realized Rey also peeked into his mind, of recent memories, of the war here on Atulla, of the reconstruction of the Supremacy, _or Hux_.

If Rey saw the memories featuring Hux, she didn’t seem to be too surprised. Yet the slight arch of her eyebrows seemed to give it away, as she stopped running and faced Kylo instead.

“Lost the will to fight?” Kylo questioned as he leveled his lightsaber to Rey’s neck.

Unfazed, Rey stared as she said, “There is a dirty bomb planted in the First Order base here. One of the Rebellion told me that it should be able to paralyze the Order from chasing after us. It was planted by the government officials you saved, their minds previously controlled by the force user of the Rebels.” She tilted her head slightly. “It should be about time.”

“Why should I believe you?” Kylo yelled, yet the tremor of his hands exposed any fear he tried to hide from the girl.

“You shouldn’t.” Rey said. “But the risk is too big. Isn’t the Starkiller on the shuttle?”

It was very smart of her. Whether Rey was bluffing or not didn’t matter, not when the dirty bomb could run out of time in any minutes and he was the only person that knew it coming. He could tell his knights via force, but it would still be useless when they were fighting on the ground. They wouldn’t make it to the shuttle on time. Only him had a direct comm line to Hux.

On one hand, Kylo knew this was the very last chance he could defeat Rey. If he let Rey go, it was no doubt the Resistance will hide away in the Outer Rims like the Empire once did. The Resistance wouldn’t make any move before they regroup with more allies and became strong again to fight with the Order. It would be impossible for Kylo to track them down again until they chose to make an appearance. If Rey got to train the force-sensitive rookies into Jedi, then having a legion would be perhaps too powerful for him to kill as well. Snoke always warn him the danger of leaving Luke Skywalker alive. Luke wasn’t posing much a threat to the rise of the Order only because he refused to train any new Jedi after Kylo burned his temple down. But Rey was a different story. She was strong with the force and it was no doubt she was already capable to teach the younglings. It would be a great threat to the galaxy and the dark side in the future.

On the other hand, Kylo knew Hux was on the Command Shuttle right now. He wasn’t sure why, they didn’t share a force bond, nor did he have a trakcer on Hux like how the other did on him. Yet it was an undeniable instinct that Hux was there right beside the bomb. That was it. The moment that Kylo must decide between the impossible choices. Being the Supreme Leader meant he should stay and fight Rey, it was insane to let her go, so she could overthrow his reign in the future. However, it was impossible for him to think the other, to let Hux die even though he could save him. The death of Han Solo had already tormented him like a plague, he knew deep down that Snoke lied and the murder did not make him any stronger in the force. He knew that he couldn’t possibly live down with another person’s blood on his hand. Not a random enemy, but someone who was possibly the last person that had any connection to him in this galaxy. If Hux died, the last piece of Kylo died with him as well.

Often, Kylo judged Hux for his illusion of ruling the galaxy as an emperor. He always sneered at people like Hux that were slaves to power, who would do anything for the throne. Yet, here he was standing here killing a scavenger girl from a backwater planet called Jakku. All because he had to fulfill his grandfather’s ambition to destroy the light side. Why didn’t he ever reflect all the things he had done? He killed his father, betrayed his family, murdered thousands of people, for the realization of the goal of his grandfather. He didn’t even want to rule the galaxy. Wasn’t him the hound of Snoke instead? He did everything his master told him to, simply because he was the person who was plagued by his so-called destiny. Never had him think about his own happiness, or what he wanted rather than what Snoke wanted or Darth Vader wanted. How could he laugh at Hux when Hux climbed all the way to the top for his own survivial? At least Hux knew how to live for himself, knew how to get rid of his father’s manipulation when Kylo was still under his master’s hold even with Snoke’s body six feet under.

The night before lying on Hux’s bed, Kylo told himself he made up his mind. That he would allow himself to indulge in whatever feelings he had for Hux. That he would no longer try to hurt Hux if he were to take him as his lover. It was foolish really, folly of love perhaps, but for once in his life, Kylo wanted to make his love stay. He was tired to pushing his family away, of killing the ones he loved, of hurting them to grow strong in the dark side. _Kriff Snoke and his dark side nonsense. Kriff the Order._ He would save Hux and Hux would make an empire out of this galaxy. It didn’t matter whether Rey would eventually bring an army of Jedi to destroy him, because he didn’t want to give up his loved ones anymore. Luke Skywalker was right, Snoke was right, he was never meant to become great. But can they judge him for that? Even his grandfather couldn’t.

Removing his lightsaber from centimeters away of Rey’s neck, Kylo buckled his weapon and immediately pulled out his comm. He didn’t pay much attention to Rey, since he decided to let her run for now. Yet she could feel Rey’s stare softening, as she remarked in her mind, “You are not a monster, not when I could still sense the light in you.”

“Shut up.” Kylo yelled out loud. “You have it your way. Now leave me be.”

Turning away, Rey ran towards the Falcon.

Dashing in the opposite direction, Kylo raced towards his speeder while connecting his comm desperately. “Hux… Hux can you hear me?” Kylo said, neglecting the fact that his voice sounded so damn vulnerable.

The line was fuzzy at first, before he could hear Hux’s voice from the other end. “General Hux speaking. Supreme Leader, how may I help you?” Hux’s tone was calm, always calm like the water in the lake.

“I will not repeat this order and do not question it.” Kylo ordered. “Evacuate the command shuttle right now. Order Opan to land the shuttle. Get everyone out of shuttle.”

“What? Ren this is…“ Hux stopped himself mid-sentence. No matter out of fear or obedience, Hux decided to follow Kylo’s order. And Kylo was thankful for it. Orders of evacuation came from the other end of the comm, as the officers suspected yet followed their commander dutifully.

“You better…” Hux cleared his throat realizing his tone of insubordination. “Supreme Leader, please enlighten me the insight to your order.”

Not wanting to frighten the officers on the shuttle, Kylo dismissed them by telling Hux he would explain once the shuttle had landed. It took a few minutes for everyone to evacuate the shuttle and stand patiently 20 meters away from the shuttle.

“Now Ren,” Hux seemingly forgot to address him in his title again. “Please explain this non-“ His scolding was cut off by a loud explosion, along with shocked screamings of a few officers.

“It was a dirty bomb. Now continue your mission. Report to me afterward.” Kylo cut off the comm, directing his speeder to the temporary base.

-

The sun had long set when the Order regained control over Athulla. The Resistance had escaped with the Rebellion, gone without a trace. Yet surprisingly there were very little casualties for the Order’s troopers. Hux took the temporary ruling position of this planet, as he ordered curfew and announced the planet’s rule under martial law. It would be a week after the damage was evaluated and addressed to that Hux would return the ruling power to the First Order’s officals on this planet. Stormtroopers were now busy working with the locals to reconstruct this city and guard the city on night shifts. While Kylo’s knights were searching for any remaining force users on this planet, they did located a few of them and had them captured for interrogation. Peace seemed to be restore, even temporarily, for now and gave Kylo a silent moment.

Kylo was leaning against the railing of the balcony of the president’s room on the government building. The room was messy, furniture pushed to the corners of the room, probably by the Rebellions when they abducted the officals and locked them here. He was tired, yet he couldn’t sleep either. Insomnia plagued him as he revised the decision he made.

A firm knock from the door pulled him out of his trance.

“May I come in, sir?” Hux asked. It was still strange to hear Hux address him as his superior.

“You may.” Kylo answered and the door opened.

Hux slowly made his way into the room. He was wearing his uniform, yet his great coat nowhere to be seen. Dark circles were visible even in dim light, and Hux looked rather tense, the trembling of his shoulders blearily noticeable to Kylo.

“Supreme Leader,” Hux said as he began to report the post-war status. “I am gladly to inform that your army salvaged Athulla from the control of the vicious Resistance. Casualties and damages are currently recording, but our victory is expected to outweigh the number of loss we suffered. Though Athulla is not geographically of huge importance, this battle would assuredly deter any of our planets from running any coup.”

Hux had this small smile on his face that Kylo could not fathom its sincerity. “I’d say this is a decent victory, Supreme Leader.” Hux said.

“Understandable, General.” Kylo replied, resembling a sense of authority as Hux’s superior. “Make no haste in reconstructing this planet, I want to make sure this planet will never fall into the hands of the Resistance in the future.”

At the mention of the Resistance, Hux slightly frowned, he asked tentatively, “Supreme Leader. Am I in misconception that you encountered members of the Resistance in today’s battles? According to our strategy, the Resistance shouldn’t be able to escape the planet before we catch them up.”

“Are you questioning my methods?”

“I dare not, Supreme Leader.” Hux spat out desperately, as a wave of fear rolled off him like tides. “It is but the timing of the dirty bomb on Command Shuttle set off too precisely with the moment the Resistance’s ship jumps into light speed.”

Kylo understood Hux wasn’t a fool, that he had all the smart instincts of a rabid cur. Yet he wasn’t certain whether he should tell Hux the truth, because Hux in either ways were cornered to accept him. He wanted to gain Hux’s trust step by step, not threatening him into submission like he regretfully did before. Sighing, Kylo tried to articulate his decision as mild as possible.

“I met Rey,” Kylo explained, responding to Hux’s shock. “The scavenger girl. The Resistance escaped and regrouped with their allies. She came here to smuggle the Rebellion group off-planet, she needed more force-sensitive, it is no doubt she is trying to follow Luke Skywalker’s old business.”

“Did she disclose anything else?” Hux asked. “Did you… read her mind?”

“She becomes more powerful than the last time I saw her. I didn’t try to read her mind at first. My priority was to kill her, to put an end to the huge threat she posed to us. But fighting wasn’t her priority. She evaded most of the attacks. I was frustrated by her cowardice of running from the fight, it was then I tried to read her mind.”

Hux’s expression became unreadable when Kylo momentarily stopped at the cliffhanger. “Did you…?” Hux asked before jumping into his conclusion. “You didn’t. She rejected your intrusion, like the time in the interrogation room.”

Kylo didn’t try to correct Hux’s tone this time. “I saw a glimpse of her memories. I saw the faces of the Resistance members, and speech by my mo- Leia Organa. It wasn’t any intelligence we didn’t already know. Before I could find the Resistance’s new base, I was removed from her mind. Given the tremendous growth in her abilities with the force, I expect as much.”

“But there isn’t everything you saw.” Hux said. “You saw the dirty bomb as well, didn’t you?”

Kylo struggled whether he should tell Hux the truth. He paused, finding his words as Hux waited silently for his reply. Hux wasn’t the mind reader in this room, Kylo was! What was the point of dwelling whether he should lie to Hux? Kylo began to wonder if he was truly compromised after Crait, after Athulla, after _Hux_.

“Yes, I did.” Kylo lied, which was essential to maintain his authority. “Rey affirmed that the dirty bomb was on the Command Shuttle. I knew it was as true as any vision of the force. Therefore, I made the logical step to contact you immediately through the comm.”

Hux’s eyes widened. It was always fascinating to see how Hux’s mind put all the puzzle pieces together in no time. Hux could read the parts Kylo left unsaid and it left him in a sort of awe. Kylo could sense confusion, mixed with a feeling of surprise on the surface of Hux’s mind. He desired to probe deeper, to see what Hux thought about him, but he couldn’t ruin this ceasefire between them by scaring Hux off again.

Hux opened his mouth, but no words escaped.

Then, an awkward silence followed for a few minutes.

Feeling suffocated by the silence, Kylo turned his head to look at the view over the balcony. When he deemed it enough time to settle and bought up the courage to face Hux, his resolution was shattered by Hux’s red-rimmed eyes.

“Hux, I…”

“This is not fair!” Hux shouted, tearing Kylo’s heart with its intensity. “You don’t get to redeem yourself by saving my life. You don’t get to make me owe you my life. You don’t get to deprive me my rights to sacrifice for the Order!” He shut his eyes, an attempt to stop the tears from flowing down his face.

In the middle of his sobbing, Hux sneered self-deprecatingly. “Kylo Ren, you are such a ridiculously intolerable brat!” He spat out venom, yet they sounded half-felt. “Why do you always have you go against me? When I cared you, you never gave a damn and put every effort to push me away. Now I want to leave, you beg your way by saving my goddamn life. What is it that you want? Have I not proof my loyalty to the Order? Or do you have to see me suffer to live up this throne you manage to win from me?”

Kylo was speechless, stunned to speechless by the outburst of Hux. He never saw Hux cried before, nor did he ever hear any sentiments from the General in any manner. He did saw Hux at the verge of tears, but those were from the torture Snoke inflicted on him, especially the painfully memorable time Snoke flared a force-lightning at Hux. It left Hux lying limp on the floor, pain radiating from every part of his being, but he remained silent. He bit back every sob and scream despite Snoke’s punishments. Yet here, at Kylo’s mercy, Hux burst into a sobbing mess. It was as if the icy façade Hux wore like a natural skin peeled off and all his emotion rushed out like a landslide. Kylo didn’t know what to do. _He was a child of destruction, he was never meant to comfort, to heal, to love_.

“Kill me then. Choke me with your dirty force trick for treason.” Hux yelled, his face a mess from the escaping tears. “I don’t regret any of my words. Take my life like you always wanted to since you left that bloody throne room.”

“Hux,” Kylo approached Hux, trying to put his hand gently on Hux’s shoulder. The gesture, however, was quickly batted away from the General. “I don’t want to hurt you!”

“Shut up!” Hux said as he muffled his ears, as if trying to block the pleas of Kylo. “Shut up! I don’t want to hear any of your lies anymore.”

“They are not lies.” Kylo stammered, frantically trying to comfort the red-head. “I wanted to apologize to you this morning. I swear I will never hurt you again.”

Hux fisted his hands as he shouted, “Does it matters? Lies or not lies they all hurt the same! Don’t you understand, Ren? I don’t want your offers or your apologies. I won’t forgive you.” He hiccuped before he muttered the next sentence. “I can’t forgive you.”

Kylo wasn’t certain this was the right way to calm Hux down, in fact he doubted there is any way for Hux to truly forgive him. But Kylo wouldn’t regret his decision in saving Hux, and he would never let Hux go again, to let someone who _loved_ him go again. Hux called him an intolerable brat. True, he knew he was selfish, destructive and terrible and he would not give Hux up.

“I am sorry.” Kylo murmured as he took a tentatively step towards Hux. “I put you through a lot pain. Those torture I made you live through, I apologize.”

He gently put his hand on Hux’s cheek, this time the red head simply closed his eyes and did not evade.

In this few cycles he learned much more about Hux than he ever did in the past few years they shared. One thing he knew, however, was that Hux felt _something_ for him. He was a fool to not be aware of it before. But now, this was only he could count on. His last card and he bet everything on it.

“I don’t ask for your forgiveness. Not now. Not when I proved to you and you are ready.” Kylo said. “I know the Order is everything to you. Your devotion to the Order, your intelligence, is essential to my rule of the galaxy.”

He brushed away the tears from Hux’s cheeks.

To the gentle gesture, Hux slowly opened his eyes.

“Be my right-hand man, Hux.” Kylo asked, not demanded.

 _Stay_ , he whispered to Hux’s mind.

Hux stared at him, the harsh-lined eyes softened at his words. He leaned towards Kylo’s touch, just slightly. “You know I cannot deny you,” Hux admitted softly. “Not with you here like this. It is never fair when it comes to you.”

Kylo smiled, he hadn’t smiled so sincerely for a very long time.

“Don’t think you are getting away from this.” Hux said as he glared right into Kylo’s eyes. “I haven’t forgiven you, and I am not going to work for you if you ever threaten me with the force again.”

“And then?” Kylo dared to ask. “You will settle for early retirement?”

Hux’s expression paled, as he broke away from the eye contact. “You know I have nowhere to go.” Hux answered. It wasn’t like Hux to display vulnerability, but Kylo did not rejoice at his weakness. In fact, he felt quite the opposite when he heard the implied meaning to Hux’s words. The Order is everything to Hux. Giving up the Order would mean giving up his everything. Kylo dared not to think about it.

Their budding care for each other, perhaps, became a mutual leverage for ceasefire.

Deciding to not dwell on the conversation, Kylo held Hux’s hand and led him to the balcony when he felt no resistance.

It was almost dawn. Though the sun has yet to rise, the horizon began to shimmer, morning glory was arriving to this planet. The light grew and the dark receded, just like the balance of the force. This was truly a new beginning of his new reign, his new reign with His _Grand Marshal_.

“I, Supreme Leader of the First Order, hereby announce you, Armitage Hux, to become the Grand Marshal of my army. You are to be faithful and bear true allegiance to the Order. Do you have your affirmation?”

Hux, taken aback, silently digest Kylo’s offer. His red hair set ablaze by the sunrise, the green eyes usually like misty dark forrest now shined like the brightest emeralds.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Kylo always thought a second chance was long behind him. He doubted that anyone, or anything could redeem himself, could save me from the constant pulling of the light and the dark. But now, holding Hux in his arms, he seemed to find an anchor that would finally grounded him from any destruction or pain.

He just have to never let go.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/adelvinag)
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> This is my first time writing Kylux. Your support means a lot to me <3


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